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Outline

The U.F.O. of Bethlehem

1989, American Atheist

Abstract

The “Star of Bethlehem” tale is found only in the Gospel of Matthew. Not only is the astral prodigy unknown to contemporary authors and historians, it is completely unknown to all the other New Testament Authors. It is found only in the latest compositional stratum of Matthew’s Gospel, and we are reminded that the earliest NT texts tell us the least about the earliest parts of the “Life of Christ,” the latest tell us the most. According to the evidence, Jesus must have lived his life backwards! Even legitimate astronomers have tried to determine the nature and date of the prodigy, and all attempts at explanation can be shown to be risible. How can you “follow a star” if it is at astronomical distances from you? It would have to be hovering at low altitudes to be subject to being followed. Perhaps it was a U.F.O.—a flying saucer! The U.F.O. hypothesis concerning the identity of the S.O.B. has the merit of being able to account for a hitherto supposedly eccentric reading of Matt. 27:46 found in an Aramaic scroll discovered some years ago in the Genizah at Knott’s Berry Farm. Instead of reading “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me,” the Berry-Farm Scroll indicates that the last words of Christ actually were, “Beam me up, Scotty! There’s no intelligent life down here!”